Who Runs the
World?
By: Claire Garcia
The authorities
don’t see me as a threat to their species, and have no filter when I am in the
room. They think they can trust me, telling me every little secret, doing
things they wouldn’t even do in front of their best friend. Little do they
know, I am their biggest threat. I am plotting, with many others, to take over
the world. Let me explain, I am a poodle, and my name is Ollie Winston Clark. My
partner, Cinnamon, aka BunBun, seems weak. He’s always shaking and peeing on himself. He is actually very evil, and I like it. Dogs for centuries have been obeying the
authorities, or commonly known as humans, catering to their every need,
comforting them when they are depressed or happy, binging on “comfort food”. It’s
all annoying and a bit ridiculous but we have to be supportive to earn their
trust. I tried to get the cats to join, but they are too snotty and self
centered, all they care about is the next time they are going to eat so they
can become even more obese and pretend to be perfect angels. We all know they are the span of Satan. They
will pay now.
I have seen far
too many of my poodle friends being neglected and taken for granted for how
smart they really are. I am sick and tired of it, and so are all my friends. We
are all a part of the PAPTTOTW (poodle alliance planning to take over the
world) club. We even got tattoos, but you can’t see them because they are
underneath our fur. We only shave and expose them once a year at our annual
worldwide PAPTTOTW meeting. It’s the
only way to be sure there are no intruders or spies. We tried to get other
breeds to join but they are too “scared”, they say the worst thing they have
ever done is pee in the house. Please I do that all the time. Blame it on the cat for goodness sake. At the
PAPTTOTW club we accept all types of poodles, as long as they are evil, mischievous,
and ready to join our forces. We have been a club for nearly 50 years now. My
great great grandfather Oliver Clark founded it when his owner abandoned him on
the streets of New York. “Never trust a human” is what he always said. The
streets hardened him, and he tried to join the MAFIA but they said no dogs
allowed, so that is when he formed the PAPTTOTW. Next week is the clubs 50th
anniversary and the date that my great great grandfather intended for the world
takeover to happen, and we are ready. I am the leader of the PAPTTOTW club.
Leading is in my blood, aka Alpha Male. I have memorized all 23 of the James
Bond movies, and I have learned all of my strategies from him. Agent 007 is the
way of life. He never fails. My faithful partner in crime, BunBun, can be
lethal. I’ve seem him do some unspeakable things. We have been taking steroids
and have been secretly training with the marines, and are completely synchronized
in Gorilla Warfare. The anticipation of our attack is boiling in my blood.
First we are
strategically placing our top poodles, the most cunning and intelligent, in
every major city and sea port in the U.S. The rest of us are going to meet in a
secret tunnel under the Empire State Building at the stroke of midnight. This
is where all our spy equipment has been shipped and set up. We have access to
every phone line and computer in the world. We know all the secrets in the
government, CIA, and FBI, and let me tell you, humans are some sick people. We
are going to stop all world trade, and hold hostages until the authorities meet
our demands. We want to be rulers, make major decisions such as eliminating byproducts
in dog food, no more ridiculous “grooming” haircuts, no more dog clothes, and
no more breeding us for money or good looks, we are not slaves. The cats will
be the lowest ranking in society and will be forced to be declawed and give us
massages on demand. We want all of the ridiculous photos of bad dye-jobs from
50’s removed. We want leashes eliminated.
We should be able to have complete freedom, and with that we want
sensors in our collars that will stop any oncoming traffic immediately while we
are out and about. We are sick and tired of the authorities careless driving.
It has lead to far too many deaths of our species. Finally we want a fire
hydrant on every corner of every street, you never know when you are going to
need to take a leak. Oh and as far as trash truck people go, they will be
assigned to go down every alley, every hour, this is a great stress-reliever,
really lets the anger out after having to deal with our incompetent owners and
their condescending baby-talk. We know what you are saying get to the point
people.
Today is the day.
The day the poodles will take over and our decedents will write history books
about this event for centuries. BunBun and I are about to board a 757 jet. We
will be flying first class, you know, under the plane. We will meet other alliances there. Mr. Snickers,
from Germany, Mr. Tulip, from the Netherlands, and Mr. Buttercup, from France,
they are all mega-powers and ruthless.
Fear does not exist in their vocabulary.
They have torture tactics that are worse than Attila the Hun. They will show no mercy to their
enemies. I have been meticulous and
precise when selecting the most cunning and aggressive of the breed. I have strategically researched all the
possible loopholes in my plan, and removed them. I will not fail. I am the Alpha Male and a Clark descendent we
have been genetically designed to have no weaknesses in our DNA. Let me hear you say, “WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?
OLLIE WINSTON CLARK”. We have now arrived in New York City, and the PAPTTOTW
take over plan 00456 begins in 3……2……1.
In all actuality- I can easily see this in many of the books by the various authors that we have read. I think that this story is VERY "Kevin Wilson-y". It's totally "out there" and different, but in a way, at least to me- it's somewhat plausible, like many of his stories. For instance, what IF dogs were smarter or had human-like emotions and feelings and really CAPABILITIES? I mean, no one would ever think that, and it seems ludicrous, but yet, there is still that "what if" factor...Just like "Blowing up on the Spot"...What if we (humans) have it all wrong? That is what I liked about your piece. On the other hand, it's too far out there. We can think about it, and try to imagine the whole "what if " scenario, which is very interesting, but I didn't like it. It's really too far out there for me personally, and while I do like how you used, in my opinion, Kevin Wilson as a muse, I don't actually like the story as a "stand alone" piece. It doesn't interest me, and I would never want to read something like it. Have it not been for an entire semester of reading weird stuff, I would definitely not like it. Definitely it was creative, with the whole authorities vs. dogs/cats, but I just felt that it was a little TOO far out there and I just didn't like it. I think that you've demonstrated excellence in creativity, and in reality no one is going to love everything you write, think or do. I think you're brilliant, but I would have reigned in the craziness a little. But that being said, BRAVO for going for it. If you don't go for it, then what's the point? So, all in all, while it's not a story for "me", I applaud you tremendously for your spirit and for your grit in putting yourself out there like that. I know for myself, that it was really hard to write something, post it, and wait for critique. Writing is very personal, at least for me, so as an ending note- THANK YOU for being YOU and going all out on a story I respect and admire that. And keep in mind, while it's not "for me", it's still a great, creative piece that I am sure others will enjoy. Thanks for the Experience! CAIT!
ReplyDeleteThis stories dark comedy had me rolling. I love how in depth you were when creating your characters. When the main character/narrator, Ollie Winston Clark, spoke of his hostile takeover of the world I some how felt it was believable. You touch on a lot major topics that would relate to the dog world, and it seemed really political and rational that the poodles would want to take over the world. I also liked that the PAPTTOTW was created by a poodle who was betrayed by the human race and hardened by the streets of New York City. It's a story of civil rights, but is still a hilarious comedy. One aspect that could have had some work in the story is the depth in the plan to take over the world. The stories tittle infers that we will see whom will rule the world. If it is the PAPTTOTW, I would have liked to see how they will take over. This story relates to a lot of fictional stories I have read or seen in motion pictures, but I don't really see a relation to any of the stories we read in our class. The closest I can think of is that Ollie is playing a middle man through out the story. He is stuck between living as a dog and becoming a ruler. This plays into the them of the short story collaboration "Middle Men" by Jim Gavin because all of his short stories are themed around a middle man. In conclusion, I feel that you are a excellent writer, and you have a vivid imagination that most writers are lacking these days.
ReplyDeleteClaire, this story fits your personality perfectly. I really enjoyed reading it! First of all, I totally did not see that coming! When I read the first few sentences, I was thinking to myself that this story was really intense. Then, you hit me with the poodle line, and I have to admit that it made me chuckle. I really like that you made the story seem so serious and pulled the audience in, then eased all of the tension and gave the story a completely different twist. It was very creative! I also like how detailed you went into everything with it. You did an excellent job of explaining why Ollie and Cinnamon are starting a revolution and what they plan on doing with it. As I was reading, I thought “how would dogs even begin to do this”, but then you answered every question. It was all very well thought out and put together. I also like the inclusion of the cats in the story, because personally I am a dog person, and I found everything you said about cats to be true! I also think that humans have it in their head that cats and dogs cannot and do not get along, and I think this story displays a humorous rivalry between the two animals perfectly.
ReplyDeleteIf I could change one thing, it would be to have gone a little more detail into the present with Ollie and Cinnamon. I feel like if you had spent a little more time showing the reader their friendship and the way they interact, we could have connected more with them. It would have personified the animals a little more too if you had made them had some dialogue in there. Not only that, but I also just think it would have been cute! Also, I really would have liked to see the plan played out. Not going to lie, I was a little curious to see if the plan would succeed and how the humans would react to it. You could have possibly added a sentence onto the end after the “3 2 1” such as “the humans had no idea what hit them.” Or something like that. But, I understand that we had a word limit, and I think you did a very good job nonetheless!
I cannot think of a specific story this one reminds me of, but I definitely saw the use of two writers in there. First, this story reminds me of all of the stories in “Tunneling” because of the conceit in it. You took a thought like “what if dogs hated us, and wanted to take over?” and brought it to life, just as Wilson did with his ideas. Also, I don’t know if you meant for this so I apologize if you didn’t, but I found this story funny! It was such a serious, destructive plan, yet it was run by a frilly dog like poodles. The way that you took something serious but added humor to it reminded me of the stories in “Aliens in the Prime Their Lives”, because all of the stories in that novel seemed to have humor tucked into seriousness.
This story is a hilarious read, you did such a great job bringing the plotted take over to life! I could imagine in my head Ollie and BunBun at their top secret meeting of the minds and it is amazing! This story seems similar to Kevin Wilson's story's theres a dark sense of humor that is present in it but adds to the comedy of your story. I loved how you incorporated the CIA and the FBI into it and the dogs having demands to be met after their full proof plan! Ofcourse they have to seek vengance on the cats in some way! This is the funniest story I have read!
ReplyDeleteI thought this was a very clever story. I honestly did not expect that at all. I thought the story was rather hilarious and could picture you laughing as you used your humor in it. The use of a poodle was quite funny because personally, I think poodles are worthless dogs and to even picture them trying to take over the world made me laugh. As has been said, I could see a bit of Kevin Wilson in this as well. When I read this story I immediately thought of “Tunneling to the Center of the Earth.” I could see Wilson using this idea and perhaps have poodles digging to the center of the earth. The story kept my interest throughout because I was curious to see if there would be some other kind of twist, like perhaps humans catching on to the plot and sending the poodles to the pound.
ReplyDeleteI think you definitely showed your creativity and humor in this story. I liked the use of the poodles even though I didn’t quite understand why a poodle. I loved the use of humor in your story as well. It was unexpected. One thing I didn’t like, and it’s very petty, is the use of New York as the destination as well as an airplane. The use was probably not at all what I pictured it as, but I immediately went back to 9/11. I realize it is a nonfiction story, but it felt tacky. Like I said, it was probably not intentional, and probably not at all viewed the way I took it, but it is something that I would have changed.
I think it would have been funnier to have other dogs involved as well and to have the dogs try to fight over who the alpha was. This would have created a different twist to the story and would have created further humor. I loved the ending specifically the part about “Who Let the Dogs Out.” I thought that ended the unique story absolutely perfectly. Again, I think you did a wonderful job of inserting your humor into a short story and you did a fantastic job of surprising all who read your story. I guarantee you that not one person will read it and not be surprised by the use of angry poodles who plan to take over the world. I would have loved to see where you went with the story and what the poodles did. I think it would have made a hilarious part two to have the poodles attacking humans and what not. Overall, fantastic read, and good job. I know that I will never look at poodles the same again.
Aw, Claire! This story was so cute and funny! I really loved it! Especially since I am a dog lover and not too fond of cats. This story was such a good idea, I would have never thought to do something like this! You did a great job making it seem so real. You did a good job with your conceit. You described everything and explained it all well enough to where it could be something we could actually believe. I really like the paragraph where the narrator is explaining everything that they want to be different. It is really funny to me how you make the dogs hate the cats so much. My favorite sentence is, "The cats will be the lowest ranking in society and will be forced to be declawed and give us massages on demand" I think that this is the kind of humor that makes this story what it is. I also like how they refer to the humans as "authorities" because it makes since when the dogs are being rebels because they are planning to over rule the "authorities". It just works, I also wonder why you chose poodles. I think that poodles was definitely a good choice because they aren't a common breed. I think all your little detail writely choices were very good and well thought out. The only thing that I would change about this story is the length, I feel like it ended a little short and I would've liked to read more about the plan and how they were going to get away with all the stuff that they had planned. This story also related most with Kevin Wilson's stories because of the conceit and humor. It mostly related to me with the story "Grand Stand-In" By Wilson. It reminded me of this story only because Wilson goes to extreme lengths for us to believe that this whole thing could be true and could be a real thing. I think that you did a good job relating it to these things with your conceit and the way that everything was done. So great job Claire! I liked reading your story and thought that it was a good, light, and humorous story! Great Job!
ReplyDeleteComment from Nikkie Culver:
ReplyDeleteSecond Story: Who Runs the World?
I love the opening line of this. It throws you right into the mind of the narrator. It had me wondering what was going on, because I thought it was going to be a story about a human spy. Then I found out that the narrator was a poodle and I couldn’t help but laugh. It was just so unexpected from the serious tone you used in the first few lines. It reminds me a bit of the movie “Cats and Dogs.”
I really like the line “He is actually very evil, and I like it,” because when I think of dogs, I think of happy, cheerful, want to play animals. Not evil. It just adds to the humorous tone of the whole piece. I think you did a very good job of incorporating humor and serious, sinister-ey thoughts throughout the piece. Neither overshadows the other, which keeps it interesting, but light hearted.
The one thing I would change would be to have had someone check it over for you before you posted it. There were some spelling and grammatical errors (“span” instead of “spawn,” punctuation in the wrong place and I would have capitalized “Poodle Alliance Planning To Take Over The World” when you say the whole name, to make it seem more official), but it wasn’t so distracting that it took too much away from the story, at least for me. I did notice it though, and it would have helped keep me, as a reader, engaged in the story if I didn’t have to stop and re-read a sentence to figure out what you were saying due to errors that are so small, they could have been corrected with minimal effort.
It reminds me of the entire Kevin Wilson book, (except for “The Shooting Man”) because it took the whole “what if” idea and implemented it. I really hope that my dog isn’t planning to take over the world. He wouldn’t get too far, he’s not smart. Or is he? Now I’m wondering, because of this story.
I loved reading this because it’s so cute and so funny, but something about the way the narrator speaks says “No, take me seriously.” It has a very good balance throughout the story. The voice of the narrator is really well done in the whole piece. You touched on a lot of things that I think poodles planning to overtake the world would think about and explained them.
I also liked how you went about explaining how the group got started and what their plans were and how they planned to carry out this goal of taking over the world. I really liked the different dogs, especially Mr. Tulip, from The Netherlands. I don’t know if this was intentional or not, since the Netherlands are known for their Tulip gardens. If it wasn’t, happy coincidence. If it was, you might want to have put a little more thought into the names of the other accomplices, to make them match their countries as well.
Good story!