Forbidden Love
By: Chad Love
A few minutes
later she heard a door open down the hallway, and footsteps heading towards the
boys room; she panicked, she didn’t know how long she had been there; she must
have dozed off laying there next to him; she went over to the window and jumped
out into the bushes and the coolness of the dirt in the flower bed underneath
his window brought her back to reality.
The boy’s
grandmother came in to check on him. Penny
watched from the bushes, the boy looked like a white ghost, lying in a field of
fire, still burned and scarred.
She jumped out of
the bushes and ran across the road and went up to her room. The corvette still lay there on her desk,
missing the mirror and banged up from being thrown in the garbage. She can’t help to remember what she saw right
before the fire. She walks over to the
window and looks down at her name burned into the ground.
“I
don’t know what I was thinking, how can a relationship between me and this boy
work?”
She shuts her eyes
and all she can see is the boy on fire right next to her name by the tree. She couldn’t help to think that it was all
her fault.
Over the next few
months Penny built several new model cars, each of which she threw into the
garbage after she completed them. She
thought building another GTO would make her forget about what they had, but she
couldn’t.
She didn’t spend
too much time with Jenny Prince anymore; she had canceled so many times that
she didn’t even bother to ask Penny to go out with her anymore, so she was
alienated all over again. The only one who
was there was her mom and the boy.
The next day she
went back to Wal-Mart and bought one more model car. She found the same cherry red 73’
corvette. It instantly brought back
everything, every night she had spent with him, all the kisses they shared, and
the feelings that came along with it. So
she bought it and took in back home and began to build it. This time she still had the old Corvette, so
she brought it out and put it next to the kit she was about to build for
reference. She stayed up all night
finishing the Corvette.
The next morning
was Saturday; she knew that the boys grandmother left every morning to run down
to the gas station to pick up a paper and grab a few groceries; that would be
the perfect time for her to see how he was doing.
Before she left to head over there she took
the corner of a piece of paper and wrote a small note for the boy placed it in
the new Corvette and went to the boys house.
The grandmother
had left so she knew that she had approximately 20 minutes before she
returned.
She walked past
the boy’s bedroom window on the way to the front door and saw that he was
sitting there. By this time he had lost
all the bandages and was healed from the burns the only thing left behind was the
scars from the fire. He met at the front
door and I showed him the Corvette.
“I made this for
you. When you have time later I would
like to meet up and talk.”
He
agreed and said, “This doesn’t change anything between us?”
“I don’t want
anything to change between us.”
She handed him the
Corvette and began to walk away as the grandmother pulled up in the driveway
and got out of the car.
“Penny…” she said,
“what are you doing?”
“Oh I just stopped
by to check in and see how he was doing. I brought him a get well soon gift.”
“I don’t think you
should be here” she said.
“I know, I’m
sorry; I have to go, have a good day.”
I headed back over
to my house. When I got back I looked across and saw the boy in his window,
looking at me, and then he walked away.
The
boy took the Corvette back to his room where he noticed something inside
it. The note that Penny had wrote to
him. It read: “I know I normally put the car out under the tree when I want to
meet, but this is for you and when you are ready put the car in your window and
I will know you want to meet. See you
soon, Love Penny.” As soon as he
finished reading the note he quickly changed clothes and put the car in the
window and headed down to the storage shed.
10 minutes later
Penny showed up. Without any words she
immediately threw herself in his arms and started kissing him. The boy didn’t know how to react, but he was
so aroused by the idea, words didn’t matter at this point. After a few minutes they pulled apart from
each other’s arms; out of breath and sweating Penny says:
“Sorry I didn’t
mean for that to just happen”
“I know,” he says.
“I’m really glad
you wanted to meet”
“Penny I love you,
and I want us to be together. I don’t care what everyone thinks.”
I was shocked by
his reaction and I didn’t know what to say back. I jumped back into his arms and kissed
him. All I could think was I am going to
make this work, even though there is going to be a rough road ahead of us, it
doesn’t matter. I pulled myself off of him and said: “I love you too.”
We lay there next
to the storage shed and made a small fire beside us to bring warmth. “Crackle.”
I ran my hands over his scars and all I could think about was the night after
he returned from the hospital and he showed me the sparks flying underneath
that blanket and I turned to him and said, “Watch this.” “Crackle.” I took the
old corvette out of my purse and tossed it into the fire, “Crackle, crackle,”
which sent sparks and embers flying into the night sky. It was beautiful.
I turned to him
and said, “We will make this work.” Silence followed and we lay next to the
fire and watched it burn and all I could think now was not how hard the road
ahead of us would be but, how we will have each other to travel it together and
that was it.
You did a really good job on the story. It’s one of the best I’ve read on here. I like that you described the boy in the beginning, but I think you should have gone into a little more detail. I like the idea of them using a toy car to signal their meetings. Seems something like a kid would do, but I’ll have a question about that in my what id change part of this. The boy burning her name in the grass did a good job of showing the boys love for the girl, even though that’s kind of crazy.
ReplyDeleteThere is some stuff in your story that confuses me. I feel like I need more information. Why were the two not allowed to see each other? Did something happen between them before the burning of the grass that made it forbidden for them to see each other? Has this happened before? Did something similar happen? A little more information on how their love became forbidden would have been good. Was there an age difference or something? It kind of seems to me in the story there is. If kids wanted to meet up and talk they would just do so. It sort of seems to me that the girl in the story is older. That would explain the whole car thing. The car seems like something a pedophile would come up with to connect with the boy. It also seems like the burning of her name in the grass shows the ignorant youth of the boy, or he might just be crazy. Did you mean to put him off as crazy, or did you want to show his despite love stuck youth? The whole forbidden thing is throwing me off in the story. Is the kid somehow mentally ill? That might explain why he is both forbidden to be with her and crazy enough to burn her name in the grass. Also, Did he mean to catch himself on fire? That can also play into how I determine this. If he did it on accident he was just stupid, but if he did it on purpose then he’s just plain crazy. A little more background of them, their ages, and maybe clues at their mental state would make the story a little better. Just the lack of fine details bothered me with the story. Otherwise it’s a great story.
Your story kind of reminds me of the story “Mortal Combat”. Even though the characters in your story aren’t gay there is still the whole forbidden love thing going on in both stories. I didn’t think the characters in “Mortal Combat” were actually gay or in love but that’s beside the point that they knew that that action was forbidden by their peers. I assume that the couple in your story were forbidden by the grandmother for some reason that is similar like age or maybe race. I don’t have the information to decide but the fact that the loves in both stories were forbidden makes them similar.
Good Job on the story! I enjoyed it.