Coming of Age

The Wildcats were ahead 33-32, when the Sun Devils got a drive going.  With 8 seconds left in the game, the quarterback Harris Graham threw the ball into double coverage to the receiver Reginald Crabcake, who caught the pass inside the 10-yard line, toed the sideline and waltzed into the end zone with one second left.  Touchdown!  Arizona State had just upset Arizona in Tucson.  They stormed the field tore down the field goal post and probably partied so hard that they were hung over for weeks.  That was years ago now, and Arizona State could only dream of pulling off something nearly as impressive these days. 

                The night that they got into town, Murph entered the front door, with his hands full of bags and clothes as well as a drink.  He stumbled as he walked inside and spilled his sweet tea that he had picked up in Sweetwater.  Shit.  This was a typical thing for Murphy; he was always a tad bit clumsy.  His grandparents however could care less; they were never ones to judge, unlike his friends who would jump on any opportunity to laugh at him or the others around him.  His grandparents never seemed to mind whether it was too late when the boys got into town, they were just happy to have them home, their successful contractor son, and their aspiring apprentice grandson.  Likewise, the boys loved being home; Murphy hung on to his grandparents every word.  While Franklin kept hinting at cool projects that the family could participate in as a whole, and doing his best to keep everybody moving.  Growing up Murph never really appreciated the things that he could learn from them, but he was at a point in life where he was developing a new vision for what was important.

                Murphy’s grandfather had a doctorate in nuclear physics.  His grandmother had a masters in child development and they were both great listeners.  His grandfather was the realist, the one that kept them grounded.  His grandmother was the dreamer, the one who inspired them to go after anything and everything they could ever think up.  Together they made the best team that anyone could ask for and were coming up on 40 years of marriage.  They did not talk much, but when they did; they had something important to say.  They had found everything that they wanted in life, and you could tell because they were always glowing.  They had mastered the concept Murphy was beginning to grasp, doing what made them happy.

                Murphy’s friends on the other hand were troubled.  They were heading down the wrong path, but had been his boys since day one.  After a visit to Tucson with his friend Rudolfo and a bus full of classmates, Murphy decided that this was the place for him, the campus was beautiful, and the women were too. Not to mention Arizona State University was cheap and was the next best education alternative to the University of Arizona.  He would be moving six hours away from his friends, but more importantly his family.

                Then there was Kathleen a different kind of friend who had a beautiful smile and a body that would stir up any young man.  She, unlike the other girls Murphy encountered, had class.  She knew about his past, as terrible as it may have been, but she saw the potential and was willing to take a chance. He was immature before and could not fathom the thought of a lasting relationship.  However, with her he rekindled a fire that he had secretly yearned for since he last had a meaningful relationship.  He had found something that meant more to him than partying and pursuing a lifestyle that would only leave him alone in the end; he had a significant other, someone he could build memories with.

                Darrel was working at the bank and planning a move to a school a couple miles down the road that was reputable but nowhere near as respected as Arizona State.  Rudolfo was a manager at the local dollar general, had since had a kid, and was also supporting the other kid that came with the package of his new girlfriend/baby’s mother.  Murph was more than halfway through the first semester of his third year and nearly finished with his undergraduate degree.  This was only the beginning of the changes they would undergo.

Murphy’s phone rings.  Darrel was calling to see what Murphy was up to for Thanksgiving break.

He lets it go.

The next day Murphy shoots D a text.   Darrel wants to hang out when he gets back.  Murphy does not see any harm but knows that he has to change some things.

“Why haven’t you called me yet?  You call D but you can’t call me?!”  Murphy laughs it off, he thinks Rudolfo sounds like a girl.

  “Na man, D called me and said he wanted to kick it, I will call you when we figure out what we are doing.”

 “How long you going to be in town?”  He asks.

  “I don’t know man, but I will call you later.”

  Darrel and Murph agree to meet downtown at the school union building to shoot some pool and hang out, Joe and Mark would meet them there.

                Murph gives Rudolfo a call just as he said he would.  “So what’s up man you got permission to go out of the house?”

  Rudolfo fumbles his words and says something that sounded like a weak excuse.  Murph hangs up.

                Smack!  The billiards collide and go in every direction.  Murph broke first.  Darrel followed his lead.  Then Joe made his move followed by Mark.  Mark was a hustler, so obviously he would not play good in any of the first games.  Joe was super cool and never revealed his cards; he always had a trick up his sleeve.  D was the intimidator and liked to use all his strength on every shot, which never played out well for him.  Murph kept his cool, made shots when he needed to, and missed when the others were discouraged. 

                Mark and the rest of Murphy’s friends wanted to smoke and hang out after they left the pool hall.

                Murph decides to call it a night and head home.  He was not surprised when they called him thirty minutes later.

  He let it go. 

                The next day his family began to arrive.  They all pitch in to prepare the meal, even if the smallest of a contribution, they all helped somehow.  They blessed the meal, and they ate.  Murphy is thankful for his family, who inspire him to continue to move forward.  He is thankful for his girlfriend, who has provided a sense of balance and support.  He is thankful for the strength they give him to walk away from his childish friends.

                He got a call that night from Kathleen.  “Hey, how was your drive?”  She asked eagerly. 

“Oh, long.  The same as always, but I am glad to be home.”  She pauses.  “Are you enjoying yourself?” 

He responds quickly.  “I sure am!  I went to hang out with the guys last night and we shot some pool for a little bit.  It was nice to catch up, we had a couple drinks and had a good time.  They wanted to smoke but I went home early, didn’t fell like being out too late.” 

She notices the maturity immediately.  “I am proud of you.  It is good to hear that you are realizing that there are limits.” 

He changes the subject in an attempt to underplay his happiness.  “So how is your vacation?” he asks.

“It is good, but I don’t have to go far.  I can’t wait to see you when you get home, I see my family all the time.”  She says.

He laughs and tells her, “Oh, don’t take that for granted.  Friends are great and all, but they are not your family.” 

They say their good byes and he lays down content with his newfound happiness.

                They began to gather brush from the pile shortly after breakfast and started to stack it up in the fire pit.  His uncle Franklin gave Murphy some utensils to trim the tree and told him to get to work.  Murph took them happily and got to chopping.  Soon enough they had the brush pile gone, and the tree was trimmed to perfection.  The fire burned from ten in the morning to five when they left back for Tucson.  While the fire burnt, they managed to toss the Frisbee around, play catch, and just enjoy the little things.  In the background, the Grandfather and Grandmother admired from a distance the great family that they have built.  Their happiness showed, and you could tell by their glowing smiles.

                Murphy finally realizes what life is about.  It was not hanging out all night with his friends.  He has found happiness as he always does in his family who unconditionally loves and supports him.  He knows he has a purpose and his purpose is to live life the way he wants, and not let the decisions of others affect his.  He likes having a stable relationship with a good girl, as compared to many relationships with the crazy ones.

                Arizona State may have lost, but Murphy enjoyed a greater victory.

                Murphy often heard that college was a time for discovery.  He has made his.  He discovers what is important to him.  Sometimes it just takes distancing yourself from everything to understand what it is that you really cherish.   Murphy recalls what a family member once told him, “your close enough to know where you have been, and far enough to be away from it all.”  He understands what that means now and is beginning to appreciate the significance of his college education away from home, it allowed him the chance to explore something different than everything he thought he knew.